Be a smart parent emotionally
In recent years, it has been noticed a difference between the old concept of “IQ” and the concept of “emotional intelligence”. Dr. Daniel Goleman in 1995, published his book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”. His theory is that if a person has a high intellectual potential, but has emotional deficiencies, may not achieve an effective and happy life.
Too often parents assigned significant value to good educational achievement, minimizing the importance to develop their emotional intelligence. This is a threat to then, because that condition success and welfare of their children only to how ‘smart’ they are.
Some signs that show children with well-developed emotional intelligence are:
• Talk about feelings and needs
• Listen and share
• Learn from conflict
• Set priorities and goals
• Includes other
• Make conscious decisions
• Anticipate the consequences
• Facilitates effective communication
• Take positive risks
If you think your children have needs in this area, I urge you to consider these recommendations:
• Teach how to express feelings and emotions. Teach to become aware of their emotions, identify, regulate and express effectively. For example, paraphrase what children say and/or help children identify their feelings by talking about them.
• Develop optimism in your children. The first step to develop optimism is to recognize the differences between optimistic and pessimistic thoughts. For example, when something unexpected or undesired happens, do not blame or criticize the child, rather explain the problems realistically and remain optimistic.
• Teach the children trouble solving techniques. The child could be able to understand the importance of knowing how to respond and not to react in trouble situations of daily living. For example, consider important steps, such as: what happened, how everybody feels about it and point out several possible solutions.
• Teach anger management. Studies show that children of parents who cannot handle anger are more aggressive. This is because angry punishment seems to create rebelliousness, defiance and tend to get the child out of control. Remember that anger is an emotion that has a profound impact on social relations. Help them recognize signs of anger and upset.
• Teach the value of honesty and integrity. Honesty is a developing concept for children under 7 years. Talk to your children about the values of honesty and integrity. For example, when you see your kids being dishonest on any matter, help them understand the long-term consequences.
• Develop their social skills. An important concept to get along and respect others is to be able to manage their conflicts and differences in a healthy way without hurting others. For this we suggest that you offer ideas to make friends; talk to your child about friendship; identify any conduct that you think may cause problems when making friends; give ideas on how to start a conversation and/or allow friends at home.
These ideas can help your child to learn and develop awareness about their feelings and emotions. When the child learns to maintain harmony and contact within self, this could be the engine that accelerates their motivation to get what they want in life.
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